Day 2

            Back home from the second day! People say the first day is always the hardest, and from my experiences so far this saying stands much true. Today was a much calmer and quieter day. Maybe because To wasn’t here today, as he was having his last kinesthesia-therapy, and because Pati stayed for the afternoon collective class sessions (group activities). The therapists were right; if I was able to survive yesterday, I am capable of overcoming anything in storage for me during my time at the center.

ù  This morning, I met Josefina at school at 11 o’clock and accompanied her to an in-home service center for a two-year-old, Bo. On our way there, Josefina warned me about various scenarios, and told me to not expect Bo to interact with me through any mean except crying, screaming and hitting. Bo has trouble attaching himself with any person who is not his mother, with whom he had formed an overly tight bond. Our task would consist of helping him feel comfortable around us, despite the absence of his mother (the object of securement). By understanding he is safe with other people and does not need to have his mother by his side all the time, Bo would take his first steps towards a “normal” life and therefore be able to enter a more formal rehabilitation program.
When we arrived, Bo immediately grew restless and began crying, looking for his mother to whom Josefina had asked to leave the house for an hour. I remember biting my lip, wondering how we would manage an entire hour with a child who obviously did not want to be alone with us. But my fears were soon assuaged by a soothed Bo. Within ten minutes, through embracing, kissing, singing, cajoling, Bo was calmed. Held in Josefina’s arms, he explored my smiling face with his curious eyes, reaching his fingers out in midair to touch my face. Afterwards, we went to his room where we watched him play with games. We tried to maintain his attention for longer periods on the same game, softly forcing him to finish the plays he started. We tried to make him play with the toys in the proper way (stacking up the blocks rather than lining them up in his organization-compulsive-behavior). The games ended when he began crying out of protest, which was almost in time for us to leave.
“Mira que deberias sentirte afortunada que Bo presta tanta atención a ti. Te mira y se siente muy comodo y bien con vos. Que suerte tenes, tenemos!” noted Josefina. Bo’s behavior had improved a whole lot. He engaged in babbling, the first signs of verbal communication. He was much happier and more comfortable around us strangers. He wanted to play with us, showed some interest in what we did. He responded to me, looked at me when I greeted him and called his name. Bo’s mother was delighted when she saw Bo laughing and waving his hand at me (we say at me even though he was directing his response to the void, because he reacted when I said, “Chau”), and even ran to hug me hard though for a second. I hope his progress keeps up. He has a lot of potential, and hopefully he will be able to live a more socially incorporated life.

ù  Josefina and I arrived at the center at one after noon. I gobbled down my lunch, bracing myself for a continually interrupted meal due to the children’s constantly rising needs. But today I was not cut from eating once. All the children had taken their medicine, and with the proper dose. In addition, two children were absent today for the classes, making the group more manageable as a whole. (As a side note, reflecting on yesterday’s lunch: Honestly, I’m not really sure what nor how I ate. After each bite, chew, swallow, drink, I had to keep on the lookout for any possible accident. From helping some to eat properly - with his fork rather than his hand – to heating up a just-arrived boy’s lunch, I was focused on anything but what I was about to digest.)
Until 14h00, the children had free time, during which they could watch TV, run in the garden, do what they want. But, oh my goodness! Did I forget to tell you the heartwarming interactions I had today with some of the children? When I finished eating, I went in the living room to say “hi” to the children (I am so rude I was attracted to my lunch before the children). And guess what? Si, the most hyper, ran to me excitedly and tugged at my arm before literally jumping on me, wrapping his legs around mine as a koala does around its mother. He was asking me to pick him up and cuddle him! Added to that, when I held him up in my arms, he pulled my face to his and rubbed his nose against mine; his way of asking me to kiss him. Furthermore, I think Mu understood I am a teacher as well, because he did not stop trying to receive my attention today. When I bent down to greet him, he responded to my voice, smiling and making eye contact (yes! He made eye contact, something so difficult for him!), and pulling my head towards his forehead or cheek to kiss. When I stopped tickling him or played with him, he would pull my hand, hold it, not let me go. Josefina was also very happy when she saw Mu playing with a toy with me in the proper way, because it was rare for Mu to do anything apart from pretending to sleep leaned against the wall, and especially to pay attention to a toy and play. Anyway, the 45 minutes I spent with the boys while waiting for Lori to come were the most adorable thing I’ve seen for a while. When Lori arrived, we all put on our coats to take a walk, the highlight group activity of the day. (Josefina stayed at the center with Fr; as a more advanced student, Fr needed some more personal attention to have more focused classes that were gratifying for his level of understanding and exhibit quicker advancements.)
The walk was for exercise, and for the children to have the opportunity to step outside, spend time in an environment than their homes and the center. We were four teachers in total (three therapists – Lori, Pati and Ana – and me); therefore, Lori and Pati were in charge of two students each while Ana and I were in charge of one each. In charge meaning holding the hand and giving them guidelines such as “mira por la derecha y la izquierda antes de cruzar.” We walked a couple of blocks, all around the neighborhood actually. We went to the little playground where all the children loved to ride the swings. Believe me, my arms will hurt tomorrow morning when I wake up, because pushing the swings for these children is not the easiest task ever when they love to feel the wind blowing against their face, watching the world come closer and away from them as they swing back and forth. I was mainly in charge of pushing Si’s swing, and the little mischievous munchkin kept pretending to slide off the swing, seeking my scared shriek and nagging protests he knew were signs of care and love. I know one important thing though: I should not be so soft and lenient with the children. The children are masters in these things. They know from who they can find the easy way out, be rewarded from their caprices. I have to toughen up, not show too much softness, leave space for the children to take advantage of me and my gentleness. Because that softness of mine will end up with me covered in bruises and red marks. Yes, the children, not only Si but also others, resort to hitting when they do not manage to twist their way around otherwise. They might have overcome their “stranger’s fear” with me, but they also have realized I am much softer than the adults.

I had the closest to a heart attack! While we were walking, Br decided he wanted to feel more autonomous and let go of Pati’s hand. Then, he suddenly took off… and almost ran into the street with cars dashing by! Thank goodness Pati was quick and caught him before he reached the zooming cars. Really, never let any child alone, even for one second, especially when they are out of the center.

 When we came back to the center, Josefina asked me to take care of paperwork. My assignment consisted of making pictograms used for el agenda. Each student has his own agenda on which the teachers give a debriefing of the day’s activities. The agenda is considered very important because it makes the children, no, the students (since there are also adolescents, it is not entirely correct for me to refer to them as “children” as a whole) aware of what they are going to do, what they are doing. The students are required to point at the corresponding pictogram, and when applicable they also have to repeat or read the name of the activity. When the time for an activity is finished, the student has to put the pictogram in an envelope stuck underneath his agenda, with a label read as fin, and the teacher says, “_____ se terminó”; this physically and metaphorically represents the activity is over.

ù  Mm, what else? Oh! By the time I was done with the pictograms and organized them accordingly, it was time to “tomar la leche” (remember? It stands for merienda). Many of the students left around here. For some reason, parents and elder siblings seemed to come earlier today. The children (although it’s not entirely accurate, I’ll continue using this term to refer to the whole group, because I keep employing the epithet), who had been behaving so well and wonderfully, had grown much more rebelling and less obedient by this time, I’m not sure why. Well, point being, it was fortunate the students left one by one earlier than usual, because it helped preventing conflicts, tensions, and accidents.

ù  For the time left, we all went outside and cleaned the garden to rid the leaves that had fallen off the branches of the trees. Ah, autumn is here and winter is coming. As the children who were left, Br and Mu, were not very cooperative and did not enjoy helping chores, Ana, Pati and I did most of the work (Lori was giving a 1:1 to Fe and Josefina washed the dishes from merienda).

As I was waiting to go home, I played with Fe for a while. And he was so cute! He might not be as quick and responsive as the others, but he really finds a lot of comfort in touch. When I came to greet him and called his name, he slowly looked up and reached out for my hand, which was already stroking his forehead, to continue rubbing it where he wanted me to caress him. For example, when I stroked his nose playfully, he grabbed my hand and gestured it the way I had. And when I was about to leave and told him “Chau,” he extended his arms on both sides and hugged me tight, as Bo had earlier. So cute!

      That’s it for today! I think. I’m going to go read the book on autism now, although I feel that I am most likely going to fall asleep while holding the book on my lap. Truly, I am amazed by the exhaustion I feel at night yesterday and today, and how well I slept last evening. I guess I spend much more energy than I am aware throughout the day. Honestly, I do not feel tired at all at the center, but once I enter car… Let’s just say my eyelids almost immediately droop. Mm, well, anyways. I hope you enjoy!