Day 7

And in for my second week! Yay!

Where to begin? Even though there were less children than there were supposed to come, the classes were as difficult to handle, if not harder. Why? Let's say there are some complications at home for nearly all the children, and those who have no problems at home are affected by their peers' restlessness.
As yet, I have never seen Mu arrive early to his morning 1:1 class. He came twenty-seven minutes late, which was an improvement from Thursday's forty minutes. Mu is definitely not a morning person, and he is an even stronger hater of Monday mornings. The only time he was enthusiastic was during his breakfast time. Although he was given to eat, he became grumpier and grumpier, because we had run low of supplies of cookies, giving him toast with butter instead, and offered him only a half-cup of milk, because we ran out of milk as well. Oh! That reminds me. Did I ever describe how Mu asks for his breakfast? I believe I had already explained the use of pictographs; this is exactly the means of communication Mu has to employ to ask for his breakfast. The teacher presents him a board on which are placed the pictographs for food (in today's case: toast) and for milk. Mu is expected to hand the teacher the pictograph indicating what he wants to receive next, whether a gulp of milk or a morsel of food. How can the teacher tell whether the communication was successful or not? From the student's expression and reaction to what he is given. I have seen the pictographs in play with Mu, and Si, and To, and a couple of other children. And it makes me proud to see how effectively the children are able to communicate, at least when they are asking for food. Hm, after all, maybe food is the strongest motivation device.
After his breakfast, Mu was grumpier from his disappointment from his dissatisfaction. He would not open his eyes, and refuse to look at April or me when we gave him instructions. At any given opportunity, at any time April or I reached out for another work material, or did not look at him, Mu would slide off his stool and roll on the floor. April was very frustrated, because Mu was to leave at 10h30 for school. With his belated arrival and sluggishness, hardly any advancements could be made. Furthermore, Fe always came early lately.
Fe's caprices have worsened during the past days. The problem with Fe is the chaos at home. His mother and stepfather is currently moving, and Fe is therefore making constant back-and-forths from his mother's house and his biological father's house. The instability disrupts Fe very much, especially his sleep, and the child is not a happy camper, not in the least. Today as well, Fe had his TV mania attack, and he ended up beating and kicking the floor, and squeaking endlessly. Thank goodness Ta came! Fe loves to watch Ta, always following him with his eyes. Once Ta came in, Fe was calmed and lulled into a sleepy trance reflecting his sleepless night.
Ta can be so sweet, even though he is not cooperative at all when he works. He gets distracted and frustrated very easily, and is upset after a maximum of four trials to complete the given task. The problem with Ta is that his irritation always makes him seek comfort and caresses. And when Ana is not here, I am the substitute. While I struggle to keep Fe awake and doing his work, I have a constant tug at my head and arm as Ta asks for a kiss or hug, or gives me cheek a silent kiss. Ah! What am I supposed to do?
The morning flew by, and soon, it was time for lunch. Lunch time is one of the most chaotic periods of the day. I would almost rather be leading a lunch meeting. The therapists always send me to eat my lunch at 12 sharp, during which I can have five minutes at most of peaceful eating time. I used to gulp down my lunch, but the gulping down didn't help and was rather worse. I decided to eat slowly, chewing and taking my time. Because no matter at what speed I eat, I end up running here and there to help this child hold his fork/spoon properly, or opening the door, or greeting a parent and the son, or heating up a newcomer's lunch, or running to the living room to check on the children watching television, or jumping up at a sudden shriek or scream, or sparing the teachers from a toilet accident by rushing a suspicious child to the bathroom. Yes, as you may consider yourself, lunch is not the most relaxing period of my day. But it is one of the eventful (fun?) somehow.
Br was in a worryingly depressed state today. He had experienced two or three days of a euphoria, manic stage, which left him in a severe depressed mood. He seemed so unstable, so internally shaken! He would not let go of my hand, and kept calling me and all the teachers his mother's name and asking to go home. He held my hand, gripping and twisting my fingers in a nervous manner. I kept trying to appease him, kissing him and cuddling him and comforting him, reassuring him he will be back home shortly. But Br is not an idiot, he knew how to read the time indicated by the clock. He did allow me to soothe him, however, and left the other teachers free to look after the other students rather than hogging all the attention for himself.
Si is exhibiting dangerously frequent episodes of self-harm. He is extremely unstable and has even more drastic bipolar mood shifts. He eats nothing, refuses all food including cookies and chips he enjoyed. I'm scared I am spoiling him, though unintentionally. He yearns for my attention, confirmed all the teachers. And he throws fit when I stay with someone else for "too long." He actually comes to look for me, leading me away and into a corner with only him by grabbing my hand. Today as well, he ended up lying on my stomach to keep me all alone, for himself. Lori had to come lift him off in order to save me from his hold.
Guess what we did today? Mondays are baking days, and today we bakes scones! Well, Ana's recipe for scones reminded me more of pao de queijo, but they were still delicious! Lori and I were sneaking into the kitchen to steal some, hidden from the children's eyes. Ana was pleased, and she chuckled constantly - her chuckling did make Fe really angry in the end, who wrongly thought she was laughing at him. You know, Fe always laughs at his peers who angrily protest and whine when forced to do activities they do not want. It seemed ironic to me, therefore, that he was so upset when he thought Ana laughed at him when he was protesting and whining at the end of television time.
To improved a lot lately! But he still relapses into his throwing things on the ground sometimes, especially when he wants to be at the spotlight of attention. I am growing immune to his compulsion, however, because paying attention is a reward that reinforces To's behaviour. It's challenging for me to be with To, because we are in the "breaking-the-rebellion" phase and have to act extra firm with him. It's challenging for me to be tougher and colder. To's talent in tearing up only increases the difficulty level. That little boy is training me in my impulses as well. I am the quickest teacher, and therefore am always the one who is running after him to prevent him reaching rooms with tons of things at hand's reach he can throw to the floor. My reflexes are ameliorating, so much, I might end up being able to catch a fly with a flick of my hand.
Oh, I'm worried about Fr. He has entered puberty, and became the most aggressive and rebellious troublemaker. As a growing teenager, he is also becoming increasingly strong. He is impossible to control. The director shared her concerns she fears that she might have to expel him from Centro "2 de abril". I hope this won't happen. Fr does love the center a lot, I can feel it. And he has a high intellectual level for an autistic child. As long as he does not have another violent outburst, he won't be dismissed. Please, do calm down, Fr. Please calm down.
I think that is pretty much it. I think I'm starting to acquire a cold, and should probably be in bed by this time. But if I don't record the day's events daily, I will lose track and will have too much catching up to do. I kept my promise to myself, and I am off to sleep now.