Finale: Day 16

My readers might be wondering, “Why skip ‘Day 16’? Why disrupt the chronological flow of the posts?” I have made the following decision, to publish “Day 17” before “Day 16,” because I felt the contents of the latter post would bring more of a finale to my blog. For me, my last Friday at Centro “2 de abril” truly brought an end to my internship. Friday was the last day I spent with the students I have been helping, attending, and grew fond of during the past three weeks. Therefore, here we go for my last post on my internship experience at Centro “2 de abril.”

Friday, June 6^th, 2014

Before dropping in the school, I passed by the nearby kiosco, one minute away, to buy little presents for the students and teachers. Predicting the stocks for merienda were low, I bought cookies from the students’ favorite brand, four packs of different flavors each. Aware the teachers barely had time to eat properly in between their trips from one workplace to another or to university, I bought an alfajor for them to munch upon. I knew it wasn’t much, but I still wanted to show them a tangible sign of my appreciation, in honor of the time I spent among them wonderful people.

I arrived just in time to say my last goodbye to April, who was heading from a therapy at Centro “2 de abril” for a home-service session with the now-healed Bo (thank goodness!). She loved the alfajor, and gave me a huge hug. “Te voy a extrañar pila! Gracias por toda tu ayuda, en serio,” she told me earnestly. All the therapists have been assuring something similar. I’m happy I wasn’t a burden, but on the contrary am esteemed as a valuable help.

Mu arrived forty minutes late, but Ana and I didn’t really see the time pass. We were quite busily and gladly taking advantage of his tardy, sharing future plans and personal stories. Mu seems to have recovered somewhat from his cold. He did not sneeze anymore, but his cough sounded as a result of something caught in his throat. One thing I realized with a pang is that Mu does not know how to blow his nose. It seems so obvious, to blow a runny nose in a tissue, yet Mu did not know how. And I doubt the other boys know either. When Ana or I saw Mu with a runny nose, or perceived mucus accumulating visibly, we fetched a tissue and cleaned the area; then, in the attempt to squeeze as much mucus out, we would repeatedly press the upper part of Mu’s nose. This was the best we could do. And it really is not much, for Mu began to sniffle a couple minutes afterwards.

Ana was less forgiving than April, and she demanded much more work done from the sick Mu. She did not spare him for breakfast either, and for the first time I saw her practice pictograms with him. I was surprised, as Ana used pictograms differently from April. I had naively deduced there would be a universal way to use pictograms with autistic children, and I was rapidly struck back to reality. Just as the therapists had varying teaching methods and interactions with the students, they employed the pictograms differently.

As a reminder of April’s method: She prepares two cups and two bowls, with one of the two filled with food or drink. She keeps the filled cup and bowl, and gives the empty bowl and cup to Mu as well as the pictogram board. He has to give one pictogram according to what he wants, either milk/juice or toast/cookie. Depending on his facial expression, April and I can see whether he has acquired what he wanted or not.

Now, how does Ana use pictograms? Her method extended breakfast much longer. She did not open her mouth once, leaving Mu to his own pace. April forced Mu to sit while eating, ending his breakfast if he trespassed three warnings. Ana, on the other hand, allowed Mu to walk around the kitchen-dining room; she and I were only guarding the exits such that he would not escape to another area. Throughout the entire breakfast-pictogram exercise, Mu walked up and down, this way and that, asking for a sip of juice or mouthful of cookie when he pleased. Ana later explained that she avoided verbal communication during the exercise because she wanted Mu to understand the situation alone. She wanted him to realize he was having breakfast, and he alone had the “power” to receive his food. Mu must have been surprised to work for his breakfast as well; indeed, with Ana, he usually has the easier way out (until he has to mop the table and sweep the floor), given the filled bowl and plate immediately.

           After the breakfast exercise was over, Mu was taken for an entire hour of work. Even though Ta arrived, Ana did not relinquish against Mu’s sluggishness. I felt sorry for Mu, and encouraged him with smiles and affectionate pats on the back, though I did not give in to chasing behind him when he managed to run away. That boy is too strong, and it is with brains rather than physical strength that I have to bar his way out. When working with Mu, a fortress of chairs, tables and other furniture has to be built to defend the exits. Afterwards, with Ta, she delayed lunch for half an hour as a punishment for Ta’s whiny and uncooperative disposal to work. He cried and screamed, turned his head from left to right and up and down, stared at Ana and turned to my more accessible smiling face when she looked back at him hard. Ta barely finished a quantity equivalent to a third of Martin’s, and hey! I’m proud that I was the one who led through the completion of one! Still, I must say, Ana can be stubbornly unyielding. Although I persevered through Ta’s caprices, there were various occasions during which I faltered and almost crumbled under his strident shouts.

           I ate lunch in the living room today, to look over the students who were streaming in one by one (remember, I was half an hour behind the normal schedule). Thank goodness I was there! An accident could be prevented between Jo and Si. Jo always tries to assert his superiority to others, and really wants to act grown-up. He was trying to brandish the protesting Si in the air, in spite of my pleas for him to put him down, and Si almost tumbled over to the floor. I was there just beside to catch him in my arms. But my heart skipped a beat or two. It’s the second time Si almost fell headfirst to the ground, though this time, it was hardly his fault. Si is experiencing a regression; his behavior has been on an exponential decay during my internship. Today, he pulled To’s hair with both hands, laughing quite diabolically, and he also enjoyed scratching Jo and tearing at Josefina’s hands. I didn’t witness any of this craziness, but I did see the consequent injuries and wounds. Si only touched me once, and not as aggressively, and it’s therefore queer for me to think him so. But yet, I do not doubt his capability of his doing it. Behind his adorable appearance, and his gentleness when he leads me to the therapeutic ball or to help him put his shoes on again (which he purposely takes off to hoard my full attention on him), Si hides a lot of “primitiveness” I have glimpsed from books he tore apart and tantrums he threw. After all, I never am the one who forces him to work or complete his assessment.

           How stubborn these students can be is astonishing! Do you know how long Br insisted to not say the date? Thirty minutes. Ana, in turn, did not satisfy his thirst for water for the same amount of time. She even “tortured” him by drinking the cup of water she had brought for him originally right in front of him. But he did give up easily. I tried to persuade him to say the answer, but no, no, no.

Br: “Quiero agua o algo asi.”
Se Jeong: “Y yo quiero que me digas la fecha. Que dia es hoy? Hoy es el... vvv...”
Br: “Viernes!”
Se Jeong: “Muy bien! Viernes cuanto? Viernes.... sss....”
Br: “Viernes sabado!”
Se Jeong: “No Br. Tu ya sabes. Lo habias dicho antes. Hoy es viernes… seee…”
Br: “Siete! Se ensucio! Tadam!”

And so on. This is just one of the examples. I swear, I felt as if I was caught in a catch-22. Br has talent to drive someone crazy. And I don’t know how he managed to hold on so much. At the same time, I now know his asking for water is a way to attract attention, or run away from a room. I now know to not give in to him easily. The therapists congratulated me for learning so much on the children, and understanding them so well. They say I have the ability to make people feel comfortable and become a ray of sunlight for those around me; they say the students felt it as well. They also say that, despite my smiling and comforting presence, the boys realized they will not have the easy way out with me, and they do not try to take advantage me as much anymore (though occasionally). Anyways, after thirty minutes, Br did give up to Ana’s expectations, and he answered the date for a cup of water he drained in one shot.

           Fr was much more obedient than Br, although anyone would be considered tame compared to Br today. And I understood the reason behind Fr’s unstoppable laughs. He laughs at the content of “Barney.” Today as well, he couldn’t stop chuckling while he watched the movie with his classmates. But he suddenly became serious and was absorbed in “Monsters Inc.”, when I changed the DVD after the promised half an hour. Al, however, never minds whichever movie is put on. He always watches silently and with a docile smile. Oh and Al was as sweet as ever. I’m glad I never saw one of his protests. Josefina told me he can have quite shocking ways to voice his displeasure… But aww! You know what his mother told me? Al is very eager to come to the school nowadays, and is always ready before time. I didn’t know, because he is quite anxious to go home after five twenty, as his pickup time nears and he feels his mother will ring the doorbell soon. I really hope my absence won’t affect anybody negatively. I really don’t want to hurt anyone.

           To, To, To. You know, I think being around To for too long is unhealthy. Anytime I hear something crash or similar to a dropped object, I immediately think, “Oh no! To!” before realizing To has already gone home, or I am not at Centro “2 de abril.” I’m going to miss the sudden jerking movements, the constant pull of reflexes. I’m going to miss his cheeky smile as he runs back to me to point at the upside-down pot of flower or pencil holder. I’m going to miss his leaning on me, with his cheek for me to kiss. To, I hope you go to the zoo someday, even though I won’t be there. Promise me you will behave even better, that you will improve even more from the progress you have already made during my stay. Promise, promise.

          The morning was a long study period, but the afternoon was looser. We spent forty five minutes playing outside. I really felt as if I was a little girl again, playing the children’s games while helping the boys (hm, I sound so old, talking about “when I was a child!) Of course, my carefreeness was momentarily spoiled by a sudden chasing behind a boy to prevent a naked show in the backyard or to preserve a jar or whatever reason else. But the adrenaline rush is part of the fun. Afterwards, we went inside for an hour of movies (“Barney” and “Monsters Inc.”, to satisfy both ranges of age). Then, we had an hour of “trabajo en grupo,” during which the boys go over the date, days of the week and months of the year, and “discuss” the weather. When the boys' concentration and attention could not be retained, Ana and Josefina announced we would all dance for a bit. It was fun, twirling and skipping around the room, hand in hand with the ones who dared to prance and dance! They even asked me to put on a Korean song, and I did. I chose two I knew the choreography of and had easy, repetitive moves. They all seemed to enjoy the mini-show, though they did not try to learn the dance as they were too amused to watch me. Finally, we had merienda. We waited for the parents while waiting outside, raking leaves and running around. The afternoon was organized a flexible schedule because there were only two adults (I don’t consider myself an adult quite yet) for the eight boys. It made me relax more and enjoy myself better. I could also spend more time in making silent goodbyes and wishing quiet “good luck”s to them all.

           My only regret is that I could not say see Fe for a last time. But he has already said his goodbye to me, when he was so tender to me last week. Jo and Fr know I won’t be coming anymore. But I don’t know if the younger children comprehended I won’t be there from now on. I am taking so many good memories at their sides, so many fun times alongside the therapists. I do not know how to express my gratitude completely and adequately to express my feelings. I also want to thank you, my readers, who have faithfully followed my posts and shared my internship experiences. I hope you have enjoyed yourselves, and are warmed by my stories. Thank you for spending your time with me, finding out and building relationships.